If the person they are today is not a healthy partner for you, not ready or available for you, and not possessing the qualities you deem important then it is the wisest choice to move on and keep looking.
It isn’t something you’ll find written in most recovery literature, however, it is important to your health, your well being and your sobriety.
Many first dates are set up over drinks or meeting in a bar, which we don’t recommend for people in recovery.
Disclosing recovery status will help prevent uncomfortable and triggering situations. It’s natural to develop a sense of closeness and trust with others in the same 12-step group or treatment center, which is why I understand how many might be tempted to couple up with others in the same support group.
It’s important to get into a relationship with someone for who they are today, not who you think they can be down the road.
Following this advice isn’t on the agenda of most newly sober individuals though.
Common arguments can sound like: The number one reason you shouldn’t date during your critical first year of sobriety was explained pretty plainly by our own Dr. He was directing these words to clients still in a drug rehab environment, but this advice crosses over to anyone in early sobriety: Think about this for a moment.
The most important factor if dating a social drinker is how supportive and respectful the partner is of the individual’s recovery. What is the biggest piece of advice you would have for someone in early recovery who is thinking about dating or entering into a new relationship?
Don’t get into a relationship with someone with the intention of changing them.
Individuals in early recovery are still working through those feelings.